he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
