have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
