I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
