if i can run in heels then i can drive
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
