What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Every concussion has its silver lining
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
