Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
