I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
