Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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