She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
