Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize