I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We are two peas in an std pod
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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