what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize