dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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