More tranny stories later!
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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