I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
