He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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