Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You ruined the universe
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
