I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
