This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Don't tell me you're on acid again
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
