Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
