Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think your dad took our porno
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
