So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize