Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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