I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i dont even know how to be here
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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