How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
