the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
