He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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