Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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