you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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