I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
