I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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