Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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