You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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