I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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