it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
