He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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