Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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