Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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