problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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