It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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