No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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