CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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