Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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