Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Let's get the cat blown out
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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