new low.... made out with someone while peeing
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
