You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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