I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize