who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
