Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
