Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
