Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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