i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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