This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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