The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
