Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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