Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize