the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize