I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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