I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
