am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
