Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize